My Little Ava

Tonight I tucked Ava into bed, saying, "When you wake up in the morning, it's going to be your birthday.  You're going to be four."  She smiled and said, "And you and Daddy will say, 'Good morning, Birthday Girl.'"  I laughed and said, "Yes." 
When I went downstairs I looked at the clock.  Just a few hours later, four years earlier, I was pregnant and my water broke.  And I had no idea that it had even happened.  What can I say?  I was my first time!  I just knew I was feeling weird.  Finally, after a couple more hours, Erick told me he thought we needed to go to the hospital.  I was so worried about going there and a nurse or doctor rolling their eyes and sending me back home that it took me a while to agree.  Then, when I started having some pains, I agreed.  And I yelled and gritted my teeth the whole way there because the pains got worse.  My little Ava, my little Peanut...she wanted out of my tummy!  And the rest is history.  She was born at 4:03 PM on October 1, 2007.  You can read more here. 

I can't believe it's been four years.  Erick and I were a mess when she arrived.  Why would someone let us leave the hospital with this perfect little girl?  Did they really trust us?  Apparently so.  I believe we have done a wonderful job so far. 
Ava, you are and always will be my favorite little girl.  My little Peanut.  You are so smart.  Beautiful.  Shy.  Sassy.  I am so proud of you. 

You are so caring...like a little mother.  Your bear has to get dressed and ready for bed before you.  You love playing with babies, playing school, and mothering your little brother.  You love to watch Olivia...and Daddy and I secretly love to watch it too.  You are a little obsessive about certain things (I have no idea where you get this from).  I can still remember you at one trying to spread a blanket out for a doll and if the blanket had a ripple in it, you would try again.  And again.  And again.  And you would scream and get upset until it was just right.  You still like things "just right."  You are definitely a doer.
You enjoy playing school, whether you are the teacher or the student.  Once, in the car, you said to me, "I can't wait until I am a real teacher like you."  Melted my heart.  

You are shy around people until you get to know them.  And then you melt their hearts, just like you do mine.  You are the sweetest girl.  I think it's funny that your teachers tell me that they can't even imagine you getting into trouble.  One teacher even told me that if you ever did anything wrong, she would feel bad talking to you about it.  It's because of your sensitive soul.  Since you were born, I have told people that you are a sensitive soul.  And as it comes out, it true.  You like to do things right and if, for some reason, you don't, you feel bad.  Well...most of the time.  I mean, you don't like to get in trouble.  But you are one sassy thing.  That's why you get Sassy Sauce, right?      

You can write your name like nobody's business and you can remember things like nobody's business.  It's the littlest things that amaze me.  You can bring up something from months ago that I don't think you've even paid attention to.  You can also just understand so many things that I don't think you are even ready for.  So many questions.  You think so much!  You want to know so much!
You love to laugh and make others laugh.  I so appreciate that about you.

Ava Dawn, you have so much to offer this world of ours.  I am so very grateful for you and grateful for the relationship that we have.  I look forward to having a relationship with you just like your Nanny and I have.  I want to continue to talk every day (even when you get annoyed with all of my questions and tell me that you don't want to talk anymore). 
You may not understand this until you are a mom (which will be a VERY long time from now), but you make me want to be a better mother and a better person.  You motivate me and encourage me without even knowing it.   
Happy 4th Birthday, Peanut!  I love you more than you will ever know.